The Worldwide Weblog of Donald Pincher

The private journal of an aspiring author | Blogged fiction by Joshua Gaskell


I am the WEBMASTER, and it is I that will be presenting to you, READER, the private journal of Donald Pincher, aspiring author. How I came to be possessed of it is no concern of yours. And in any case, if I did go about to tell you by what accident I obtained covert access to the file, it would in this unbelieving age pass for little more than the cant or jargon of the blogosphere. Suffice to say that he types Journal.doc on his computer (Windows ME) and, in his careless cyber-luddism, has left open a pathway vulnerable to exploitation by those of us who know the ways of data capture.
Pincher is a pious, small-c-conservative young fogey of the leftmost wing. He lives unfashionably in the London district of Forest Hill SE23, and devotes his life to writing entries in his Oxford Urban Dictionary, trying to find someone willing to publish his novel – five-hundred pages of relentless socialist manifesto masquerading as literature – and to being fruitlessly apoplectic about the price of things in the capital. A privacy obsessive, much of his novel consists of (in equal measure) decrying the dangers of the internet age, and mocking its pretentions. Which is why I thought it would be funny for him to write his own blog, even if it is one that he doesn’t know he’s writing.
Though the automatic-upload macro I’ve attached to Pincher’s journal makes me something of a deistical Prime Mover, I will occasionally deign to intervene in ‘the cool of the day’ (to footnote, to hyperlink, to tag, or otherwise curate). To this end you will know me by my dark-blue font.
Without further ado, I present to you what I’ve chosen to dub, in the idiom of its unwitting BLOGGER, The Worldwide Weblog of Donald Pincher

Friday, 25th July 2014

Acshly, adv.

Pronunciation: /akʃl̩i/
Etymology: < contraction of actually adv. < actual adj. + -ly suffix.

Favoured sentence adverb of Today programme interviewees. Cf. oviously adv. and absolutely adv. and int.

Thursday, 24th July 2014

The OED records that lesbigay was first used in April 1990, LGB in September 1990, LGBT in August 1992, and LGBTQ is not yet recorded. In the spirit of inclusion, it’s the acronym that can never stop growing.

Wednesday, 23rd July 2014

C P Scott said, ‘Comment is free, but facts are sacred’, and John Reith wanted the BBC to inform, educate and entertain. In being portmanteaus, the concepts of advertorial, infotainment, edutainment, etc. (‘orig. and chiefly U.S.’), demonstrate that when the distinctions are transgressed – in practice when comment encroaches on facts and entertainment on information and education – something of value is lost.

Tuesday, 22nd July 2014


(for a change).

Monday, 21st July 2014

Controversy, n.

Pronunciation: /kɒntrəvɜːsɪ/
Etymology: < Latin contrōversus turned against, disputed.

Dispute, debate, contention, e.g. pronunciation /kəntrɒvəsi/.


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