The Worldwide Weblog of Donald Pincher

by Joshua Gaskell

Sunday, 8th January 2017

In the mid-seventeenth century, in Britain, literacy was between ten and thirty per cent, meaning even the mediocre writer of a worthy, plodding biography or an epically dull poem was in possession of a saleable commodity. The post-1870 Education Acts are seen as a success for practically eradicating illiteracy, but spare a thought for the journeyman aspirant.

Monday, 26th December 2016

I notice that an increasing number of schools have signs at the gate saying, ‘This is a good school’. When did Ofsted adopt the classification system of Church and Gargoyle scholastic agents from Evelyn Waugh’s Decline and Fall?:

We class schools, you see, into four grades: Leading School, First-rate School, Good School, and School.

Thursday, 3rd November 2016

Offender, n.

Pronunciation: /əˈfɛndə/
Etymology: < offend v. + -er suffix

1. Law. A person who breaks the law.
2. (Increasingly merging with sense 1) A person who gives offence.

Tuesday, 1st November 2016

A birthday divination rhyme for Twitter:

Monday’s child has #Motivation,
Tuesday’s too has #Motivation,
Wednesday’s child is full of #Wisdom,
Thursday’s child has got some #Thoughts,
Friday’s child is loving and #Feeling,
Saturday’s outfit at #Night is revealing;
And a child that’s born on a Sabbath #Funday,
Is blithe and bonny, and good and #Gay.

Tuesday, 25th October 2016

A text from Hermes: ‘Hi, we’re running a little behind schedule today. We’re sorry’.

The parcel delivery company.

Not the messenger of the gods.

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