Thursday, 19th September 2013

by Joshua Gaskell

The South Circ really does look like a Cirque some days, with all the lycra-leotarded tards* riding along. The thing is, they wouldn’t need to wear these one-piece wetsuits of theirs if they hadn’t become so fatuously obsessed with the weights of their carbon bikes; to the point where they take having a line of foul water up their backs in exchange for saving a few imperceptible pounds. Why is everyone so down on mudguards? I think if I told one of them that actually he’s not in the Tour de France, he’d be genuinely taken aback.


* “Adjective used to describe one so retarded, they do not deserve the ‘re’” (Urban Dictionary).