Sunday, 23rd March 2014

by Joshua Gaskell

After their success with “redefining marriage”, in the latest budget the government now want to redefine what a pension is. For the sake of the historical record, at this present writing a pension is, ‘An annuity or other regular payment made to a retired employee, servant, citizen, etc., by right or in consideration of past services’ (OED). The key word here is ‘regular’, an attribute which pensions currently share with people’s need for food, rent, and fuel. But henceforth, apparently, pension will be synonymous with bank account. The project of liberalising capital in pursuit of ever more personal choice has led to no ill consequences thus far, so I don’t foresee a problem. Perhaps next week we’ll hear of a policy whereby people can retire and receive all their future appetites, bills and cold winter nights in one lump sum too.

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