The Worldwide Weblog of Donald Pincher

by Joshua Gaskell

Tag: Americanism

Tuesday, 19th May 2015

Dear advertisers and TV development people,

The Great in Great British and Great Britain – a name I adopted by proclamation after the Union of the Crowns – is a geographical term used to distinguish the largest of the British Isles from Brittany, or Little Britain. It is not a general term of approval.

Best,

James the first by the grace of God
Kinge of great Brittayne ~
Fraunce, Ireland, and the
adiacent Islandes ~
Defender of the
Faith.

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Sunday, 17th May 2015

If customers in coffee shops are going to persist with their Can I get a ——? formulation, maybe bariste should start anticipating the ass-backwards illogic by asking, ‘What can I have you?’

Thursday, 19th February 2015

I can’t remember the last time I ordered a cup of tea in a café and wasn’t asked to confirm that yes, I do just mean an actual cup of tea; or English breakfast as Americanised dunderheads insist on calling it.

N.B. English breakfast is bacon and eggs, and English breakfast tea is a roundabout way of saying tea.

Saturday, 24th January 2015

When I write an email and Firefox’s American dictionary underlines with red words like favour, artefact and jewellery, it sometimes makes me doubt myself, and I feel like Chris Finch doing the quiz with David Brent: ‘You’re putting this thing in my mind… this poison.’

Tuesday, 13th January 2015

On the side of a bus I see an advert for a book, which contains the legend, ‘Available in all bookstores’. I thought advertisers working for global companies were paid a lot of money to tailor their drivel to local populations. The creeping in of store is troubling at the best of times, but even more so in an encouragement towards a good old bookshop.

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