The Worldwide Weblog of Donald Pincher

by Joshua Gaskell

Tag: David Cameron

Sunday, 19th June 2016

A mysterious sign has been affixed overnight to the door of Number 10 Downing Street.

PPE Close

Rumours suggest that in the small hours a dark figure was seen leaving Number 11, the official residence of the chancellor, but the policeman on duty has refused to comment on this. The sign’s meaning has divided semioticians, with some claiming that PPE is an abbreviation of ‘personal protective equipment’, and others suggesting it is a reference to the Oxford degree course ‘Philosophy, Politics, and Economics’.

David Cameron read PPE, as did George Osborne, the ‘hard-hat chancellor’. There has been speculation online that the sign’s ambiguity is a deliberate elision of meaning intended to suggest to the British people that only Osborne has both the practical and theoretical expertise to succeed Cameron as prime minister; unlike, say, Boris Johnson (Greats) or Theresa May (Geography).

Mr Osborne is forty-five.

Hard Hat

Thursday, 18th February 2016

When reporting on the EU renegotiation and Donald Tusk, some news readers say /tʌsk/ as in busk and some say /tʊsk/ as in brusque. I imagine David Cameron renders it more like tsk (/ʇ/), the alveolar click formed by suction and expressing commiseration, disapproval, or irritation.

Monday, 21st September 2015

It has been claimed by a member of the House of Lords that the blue-blooded head of the Westminster government ‘put a private part of his anatomy’ into a ‘swine’ at a meeting of an exclusive dining club named in honour of royal favourite Piers Gaveston.

The swine in question has now been identified as Gaveston himself. King Edward’s spokeswoman has said, ‘I’m not intending to dignify this by offering any comment or any HRH reaction to it.’ The peer who made the allegation was once the red-hot favourite for the earldom of Cornwall, which he felt he had bought (surely ‘earned’? Ed.), and is said to have been infuriated when the king passed him over in favour of the waspish Gaveston.

Tuesday, 8th September 2015

What has Islamic State got against arse treats?

Friday, 17th July 2015

Politicians from both parties seem agreed on the fact that this agglomeration which calls itself Islamic State is neither Islamic, nor a state. I hope they are right thus to Voltairianise.

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