The Worldwide Weblog of Donald Pincher

by Joshua Gaskell

Tag: Email

Thursday, 30th April 2015

An email from TfL about Brixton tube station: ‘The station now has improved ticket machines, offering guidance in 17 languages’.

At last!

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Wednesday, 11th March 2015

I finish listening to Pick of the Week – the conceit of which is that the guest presenter chooses their highlights from the last seven days on Radio 4 – only to hear Neil Nunes say that ‘you can send your own suggestions to Pick of the Week by emailing’.

Tsk, more outsourcing.

Sunday, 22nd February 2015

I’m receiving more and more emails which, apropos of nothing, refer to a particular set of out-of-context objects and concepts. I set out the OED meanings of these here, in an attempt to find a connection and solve the puzzle:

  • ‘The secret language or jargon used by gipsies, thieves, professional beggars, etc.’
  • A ‘place of torment for the wicked after death’.
  • ‘The inherited instinctive impulses of the individual’.
  • ‘A misfortune, a calamity, a disaster’.
  • ‘A slight structure built for shelter or storage’.
  • ‘The hard outside covering of an animal, a fruit, etc.’
  • ‘A pit dug in the ground to obtain a supply of spring water’.
  • ‘A short or quick movement.’
  • ‘Habitual or customary usage, custom, habit.’

The only thing I can think of is that people are increasingly emailing from their smartphones as opposed to their computers. But how would this explain the explosion of interest in cant, hell, the id, ills, sheds, shells, wells, weves, and wonts?

Saturday, 24th January 2015

When I write an email and Firefox’s American dictionary underlines with red words like favour, artefact and jewellery, it sometimes makes me doubt myself, and I feel like Chris Finch doing the quiz with David Brent: ‘You’re putting this thing in my mind… this poison.’

Thursday, 27th November 2014

The World Wide Web was apparently invented by an Englishman (sounds about right), so why is so much of the language of the Web American English? I propose the following changes:

  • An app store should be an app shop
  • The back end should be the rear end
  • Airplane mode should be aeroplane mode
  • Cookies should be biscuits
  • Email should be epost (and one’s mailbox one’s postbox)
  • A firewall is a partition wall
  • One’s inbox is one’s intray (ditto outtray)
  • And finally, just for the sake of accuracy, the Trojan Horse was in fact a Greek Mare
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