The Worldwide Weblog of Donald Pincher

by Joshua Gaskell

Tag: General Election

Monday, 25th July 2016

When Corbyn’s supporters say that they believe he can lead Labour to a general election victory because ‘Politics is the art of the possible’, they use possible in its strictly philosophical sense: ‘Logically conceivable; having the property, whether or not it actually exists, of not being excluded from existence by being logically contradictory or against reason’ (OED).

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Thursday, 10th December 2015

  • MP3: MPEG-1 (Audio) Layer III
  • MP2: MPEG-1 (Audio) Layer II
  • MP1: UKIP

Saturday, 26th September 2015

The OED’s earliest attestation of the word unelectable is a 1932 biography of the socialist George Bernard Shaw. The passage in question is about left-wing Shaw’s election as Vestryman and Borough Councillor of St Pancras:

In 1897, his friends Robert and “Lion” (Mrs.) Phillimore, then members of the St. Pancras Vestry administering the local government of quarter of a million Londoners, made a deal with their anti-Progressive opponents whereby certain nominees of theirs were elected without protest, the number of candidates being by agreement no greater than the number of vacant seats. In no other way could Shaw have secured election; for he boasts with truth that he is a hopelessly unelectable person under any existing democratic franchise.

This is succour for all of us who voted for the new Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, Vest(ry)man and MP for neighbouring Islington North. All that needs to happen for him to become prime minister in 2020 is for there to be no other candidates.

Wednesday, 5th August 2015

Pollices

Wednesday, 27th May 2015


(For accompaniment, press play – WEBMASTER)

The Students Apology Song: We’re Sorry (The Autotune Remix)

We’d like to take this opportunity to put a few things straight.
When we meet former Lib Dem MPs around the country, it’s obvious that many of you have strong and pretty mixed reactions to losing all your seats at the general election.
We wanted to give you a kicking, and succeeded in doing so. But, with nationalism and Toryism on the rise, for the liberal, unionist, social democrats among us, this is beginning to feel like a Pyrrhic victory.

♫ As a group of young people, we were disappointed and angry
That you couldn’t keep all your promises,
You couldn’t keep all your promises.
Above all, your promise not to raise tuition fees.
But to ex-Lib Dem MPs, we say this: ♫

♫ We made a promise before the election
That we would vote against all Lib Dem MPs,
We would vote against all Lib Dem MPs,
We would vote against all Lib Dem MPs.
It was a pledge made with the best of intentions,
The best of intentions.
But we shouldn’t have made a promise without considering just how much worse things could get. ♫

♫ We’re sorry, we’re sorry,
We’re so, so sorry.
There’s no easy way to say this:
We’re sorry, we’re sorry. ♫
(Repeat)

♫ When we’re right we hold our heads up,
But when we’re wrong we hold our hands up too.
You learn from your mistakes,
And that’s what we will do.
We accept that won’t be enough for you all,
But we owe it to you.
You learn from your mistakes,
And that’s what we will do. ♫

♫ We’re sorry, we’re sorry,
We’re so, so sorry.
There’s no easy way to say this:
We’re sorry, we’re sorry. ♫
(Repeat)

♫ We are sorry, we are sorry,
The Liberal Democrat-haters are sorry.
There’s no easy way to say this:
We are sorry, we are sorry. ♫

♫ We are sorry, we are sorry,
The Liberal Democrat-haters are sorry.
There’s no easy way to say this:
We are sorry, ♫

And if you’ve lost your seat, then we hope you can win it back.

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