The Worldwide Weblog of Donald Pincher

by Joshua Gaskell

Tag: Toilet

Friday, 8th August 2014

The wearing of shorts provides a salutary reminder of how much pee splashes on one’s ordinarily trousered legs when pointing Percy at the porcelain.

Monday, 16th December 2013

Cycling in St James’s, with my internal compass pointing towards the Mall, the one-way streets screw me over and I end up on Piccadilly. And apparently this is exactly where the motorist-orientated rot set in: the OED’s earliest illustration of one-way in this sense is from a 1914 issue of World’s Work:

Some little has already been done in the small streets off Piccadilly to request drivers to avoid some streets when going north and others when going south, thereby aiming at ‘one-way’ traffic, but there is no power to enforce the requests.

I think from now on I’ll assert the Power of the Powerless, by living as if, in the case of cyclists, ‘there is [still] no power to enforce the requests.’

At least I get an opportunity to slash ’n’ dash at Green Park tube.

Saturday, 14th December 2013

Women wipe after peeing and men don’t. It occurs to me that this is the case not because of the difference between a penis and a vagina, but because of the other differences between men and women.

Sunday, 10th November 2013

The philosopher saith, ‘Never walk past a toilet without using it’. But he’s clearly never peripateticated around central London, where following this advice would make short work of one’s spending money.

Tuesday, 5th November 2013

On my way to the British Library I alight to take a life-affirming leap over the paywall at Green Park. Then at the library, I read the following:

Jack Sprat could eat no twat,
His wife could eat no wien-
er, so betwixt them both, you see,
They chose not to convene.

Not in the Treasures of the British Library gallery, no. Scrawled on a wall in the bogs. In the spirit of undergraduacy I add the marginalium, ‘cf. Hamlet’.

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